I Am Perfectly Pregnant

On Tuesday I found out for sure that I am pregnant.  I had been testing for a few days and had a very very super faint positive on Monday, but on Tuesday, there was no denying it.  This is welcome yet . . . I don’t really have a word for it – scary, tentative aren’t good words . . . news for me and my husband.  I myself am amazed that through a UTI and subsequent horrific yeast infection that I even became pregnant.  The rub for me is STAYING pregnant.  I miscarried our previous child on August 1.  Click here and here to read a couple of previous posts regarding my experience with birth loss.

I had a visit with a CNM already set up as a follow-up to irregular mid-cycle bleeding and the out of control yeast.  The bleeding turned out to be ovulation bleeding.  The yeast got smart and died.  We had a good visit.  I felt free to cry a bit.  She’s very *neutral* which I’m not entirely sure is a good thing.  There I am trying to decide whether I should have a hcg test or schedule an early ultrasound, and really she didn’t weigh in.  Not that I interpret that as ambivalent, I just wish she could counsel me on how much information really can be gained from these tests.  She called me a little while ago to tell me that my quantitative hcg number – 292 – was good.  Ok, so good.  So now I should repeat the test in two days, but oops, I’ll be out of town.  Dag!  What to do.

I went to Meadowsweet Herbs and threw down a few pretty pennies.  In addition to echinacea for a brewing head cold, I bought some aromatherapy items, and a tincture for pregnancy support, pregnancy tea (which doesn’t taste too bad, I must admit), and a neat-looking book entitled Natural Pregnancyby Janet Balaskas.  Time to update my reading list.

It’s a big step for me to announce this so loudly in the big world.  I AM PREGNANT!  I’m REALLY pregnant . . . again . . . so soon after tragedy.  Thank God!  May this baby gestate in peace knowing how much he or she is wanted and loved.

Current pregnancy symptoms – exhausted, emotional, lower-abdominal “twinges”
Other feelings – scared, hopeful, worried, out of breath, heart racing, vulnerable, joyful, excited

What a blessing.  That’s what I’ll call my growing baby – blessing.

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4 responses to “I Am Perfectly Pregnant

  1. I am miscarrying right now. . . it is helpful to read your posts. I am trusting my body to do what needs done. I hope we can start trying again soon. Congrats on your pregnancy. Blessings to you and your little one.

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