Another Miscarriage In My Future

I bled a little bit on Wednesday.  I have bled more today – not actively, but enough to make me worry.

We had an ultrasound at 2:30pm this afternoon.  I should be around 10 weeks and 2 days pregnant.  The ultrasound revealed a 7 week gestational sac and non-viable 6 week 5 day embryo.  I’ve been carrying around a dead embryo for a few weeks now.

I’m devastated.  My husband is devastated.  I don’t know how to go on.  I just want to crawl into a hole and hide from the real world.  I don’t want to deal with my toddler – my beloved miracle child.  How f$!^ed up is that?

I don’t think of myself as only having one child.  Perhaps that’s our destiny.

We have a repeat ultrasound with the OB group that managed the last miscarriage on Monday.  I will likely have a D&C as that is the best way to assure that the pregnancy remnants are preseved for testing.  The slab of tissue I presented to the OB last time was not useful.

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17 responses to “Another Miscarriage In My Future

  1. Kimberly, I’m more sad and sorry than I could possibly express. It’s so, so unfair and cruel.

    Please take good care of yourself. I’ll be thinking of you often.

    ~Lori

  2. I’m so sorry Kimberly, there’s a particularly awfulness to repeating repeating repeating….I will pray that they find some answer and then a solution.

    Gretchen (who also dealt with 3 miscarriages in a row before carrying her twins to term, and then another a few years later)

  3. Kimberly, I’m so sorry for your loss. It is not fair. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and light a candle for your little one during my morning meditations. Best wishes for a gentle recovery. We’re here for you at pabl whenever you need us.

  4. Oh Kimberly, I’m so very sorry to read this devastating news. I can’t even tell you how sorry. Sending you blessings and prayers from Yukon…

  5. :-(
    I’m so, so sorry. Although I know the devestation of wondering if there will ever be a second child to snuggle and hold close (and also then having a hard time taking care of that child you do have) — and that’s hard, so hard. I do not know the devestation of repeated loss. I can only imagine the grief and complex emotions. I’m so sorry. {{{{hugs}}}}}
    Love and belief,
    Tami

  6. Kimberly, I’m dani76 on mdc. I posted something to you there, but I wanted to send you something here too. I’m not going to say I’m sorry, because everytime someone says that to me I want to cry. So, I’m going to say damn, that f-ing sucks. Maybe you don’t curse, but it feels better than I’m sorry. Please email or pm me if you want to talk.

    Danielle

  7. Kimberly, words cannot express how sorry I am. I wish there were a way to keep this from happening and I hate that your happiness was ruined and I sincerely hope that when you get pregnant again, that it is with ease and without any complications at all. *HUGS* This should not happen. It’s beyond unfair.

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