I found this poem today at MDC. I just have to share it here.
Grief is a quiet thing
Deadly in repose.
A raging horror, a thunder of abuse.
Tearing all that one has ever loved.
Fear-ridden and misunderstood;
Ceasing a moment, and through the years,
To curse all that is happy -
To threaten every beauty that is true.
It’s a quiet thing.
- Melba Colgrove, from How to Survive the Loss of a Love
Indeed grief is a quiet thing. In real life when someone asks, “How are you today?!” or “How are you doing?” I am compelled to answer, “Just fine!” or something similar. People don’t seem to really be asking me if I’m doing better with the expectation that I might actually tell them how hard every day is. People don’t understand that it’s not terribly easy to just be fine after a pregnancy loss much less after three. They don’t want to hear about it – not really.