Stuck

I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way, but I’m “stuck.”  I can’t collect myself enough to write anything useful.  Perhaps this is because so much of my energy is focused on this pregnancy and the start of a new semester at the U.  Or perhaps it’s because actually there’s way too much to write about for me to get focused.

This too shall pass.  For now, know that I am well and am reading and hope to be back in the saddle again soon!

TTC Info Tidbit, Yeah Thanks

I chart my cycles over at Fertility Friend, and because I’m a nut . . . also at My Fertility Charts.  Actually, it’s not so much that I’m a nut . . . it’s more that I have to catch my LH surge, and since OPKs completely mystify me (how in the hell am I supposed to stay hydrated but reduce my liquids before I test for 2+ hours AND hold my pee for 4 hrs AND test at a consistent time, what a crock of shit).  So, I’m doing OPKs and tracking my cycle at two different sites.  Sigh.

Anyway, this “info tidbit” at Fertility Friend struck me funny:

Before ovulation and after menstruation, there is only a small amount of progesterone present in your body and your basal body temperatures (your resting temperatures) are in the lower range. Look for your temperatures to level out as you get further away from menses, indicating that your hormone levels have stopped fluctuating and are at a pre-ovulation level. This will normally occur within a few days of the end of your menses.

Temperatures level out?  Not in my world.  Normally within a few days of the end of menses?  Not so much.  Is this a bad sign?  Perhaps.  More on that later.

Tag: It’s Personal and Embarrassing

Julie at CoolMomGuide tagged me. Fun!! I’m supposed to share six things about me that no one from my blog community knows. Of course the things that are most personal and most embarrassing are perhaps too personal and embarrassing to share. But I’ll give it a stab . . .

  1. Well, to be quite honest it’s both extremely personal and somewhat humiliating that I’ve lost three babies. I miscarried 8/07, 10/07, and 2/08. That’s no secret on my blog, but perhaps the fact that I still feel humiliated is a surprise.
  2. On the lighter side, I freely admit that I don’t shower every day. I’m a working mom who hardly has time to throw on clothes before shoving myself and my toddler out the door in the mornings.
  3. On a related note, I can’t find a deodorant that works well for me. I have a strong sense of smell, so perhaps no one else (except my friend Emerald) would notice when I have not so fresh pits.
  4. I’m an opera singer who doesn’t much enjoy going to opera performances. I’d rather be on the stage. Isn’t that awful?!
  5. I’m some kind of an amazing procrastinator. It’s debilitating.  In fact, I’m two weeks past deadline on my editing duties.  I hate that!
  6. I shriek (which means that it’s very high and very very loud) when flying bugs get near me. I’m always sure that I’m gonna get stung.

I shall tag . . . umm . . . Sandra at Geriatric Mom, Sharon at Traveling Midwife, Enjoy Birth, Kim the Doula Momma, and Banana Peel.

My brain on vocal science

I am doing an intensive research study program this summer in Denver.  I’m learning more than I ever thought I needed to know about how the voice works.  Yesterday was an anatomy crash course which sent me to Amazon to purchase anatomy coloring books.  Yes, I did say COLORING books.  Today was a crash course on biomechanics – ya know, just enough to really scramble my noodle.  Newton’s Laws and all that.

I know that eventually there will be some neat way to apply what I’m learning about the hard sciences even to my advocacy work.  I’ll share my ruminations as they attack me in my dreams.  Currently I’m still considering sending a pipe bomb to one of my old doctoral professors.  (No, not really!)  I’m disgusted that I have a terminal degree (a doctorate for chrissakes!) and don’t already know 1/8 of the material I’ve encountered in the last two days of class.

Tagging myself

I read a FriendFeed “friend’s” tagged post, and thought I might add some random details about myself:

  • I used to be a Republican, sort of – I worked for CNN during the 1992 RNC and interviewed for a job with Senator Phil Gramm whom I met through an assistantship I held with then Mayor (now Congresswoman) Kay Granger (whom I wrongly assumed was a Democrat)
  • I still like mac & cheese and hot dogs (and yes I know that hot dogs are made of lips, asses, and worse)
  • I pick the random wiry black hairs off of my blonde head; they grow back
  • I can sing lower pitches than some men
  • I carry around water and don’t drink it; I prefer coffee and alcoholic bevies
  • I’m a social mediaphile – I FriendFeed, I Plurk, I Tweet, I blog, I post, and e-mail is becoming much less relevant to my on-line experiences

Anyone else want to share their gory details??

I love learning

From Motherstyles - my mothering style comes as no surprise! ;)

Your type is: intp —The “Love of Learning” Mother

“I keep the encyclopedia in the kitchen so we can look up things together while we eat.”

  • Intellectually curious and patient, the INTP mother relishes those times with a child when they are learning something interesting together. Whether they’re at the zoo or computer terminal, she sparks to answering his or her “whys” with in-depth responses or new knowledge.
  • The INTP mother is also objective and introspective. She listens to and discusses children’s ideas and questions as she would those of a peer, fostering self-esteem and confidence. Open and non-directive, she allows children the freedom to do for themselves and quietly encourages them to believe they can do it.
  • Independence, autonomy, intellectual development, and self-reliance are probably the INTP’s highest priorities for her children. An avid reader, she naturally imparts an appreciation and love of reading as well.
  • Drawn to all types of learning, the INTP may also value her mothering experience for all the new insights about life it provides her.

Lists of Five

I got this idea from Midnight in the Sun who says she “stole” it from Tipp (whom I do not know).

What I was doing ten years ago:

1. Planning my May wedding
2. Working for a computer consulting firm doing HR stuff
3.  Auditioning for and deciding on schools for continued vocal study
4. Eating lots of Mexican food (boy how I miss TexMex!)
5. Learning music for a summer opera program

Five things on my To-do list today:

1. Course preparation before I teach at 9:10am
2. Change my deductions on my W4
3. Request my medical records from the OB’s office and the two hospitals in town
4. Finish my vocology application (eek!)
5. Do laundry tonight after DD goes to bed

Five Snacks I enjoy:

1. Anything chocolate, as long as it’s not unnaturally flavored with strawberry, orange, raspberry, etc.
2. Chips & salsa
3. Wheat thins
4. Yogurt
5. Scones from the Business School coffee stand

Things I would do if I were a millionaire:

1. Pay off my student debt, my husband’s student debt, and any other family member’s student debt, and buy my house
2. Travel for pleasure
3. Hire a maid/cook
4. Donate to important advocacy groups
5. Freelance

Five Bad Habits:

1. I procrastinate, oh do I procrastinate!!!
2. Spend too much time on the internet
3. Spread myself too thin – way over-committed to too many things (according to my husband and my mother)
4. Don’t always brush my teeth or wash my face before bed
5. Sabotage good habits like regular practice, exercise, and good eating

Five places I have lived:

1. California (born there)
2. Oklahoma
3. Texas
4. Alabama (shudder)
5. Indiana

Five Jobs I have Had:

1. PR assistant for CNN during a national political convention
2. Performed and waited tables at an Italian restaurant
3. Opera singer (still am)
4. Human resources manager for a computer consulting firm
5. Assistant to a Mayor (mostly scheduling and some liaison work with the PR folks)

I hope some of these things come as a surprise to those of you who know me!