What NOT to say is much more important than what not to wear

Discussing a c-section with well-meaning family members and friends can be difficult.  The over-medicalization and institutionalization of pregnancy, labor, and delivery makes it hard for some people to understand why we mourn our c-sections.  (Sometimes these people are not-so-lovingly referred to as “sheeple”.  Baaaaaaaaa!)

I didn’t initially mourn.  I think my first response to the spinal was “why don’t women ALWAYS have one of these!”  (Oh, geez, no I din’t!)  My CNM looked crest-fallen.  My OB (who did a beautiful job with my c-section, by the way) laughed . . . and knew that she had won that time.  I don’t mean that my CNM was disappointed in me or that my OB was some saw-crazed freak; it just kinda “happened”.

So now I have a scar.

Oh, and NOW you’re telling me that I’m at an increased risk of uterine rupture if I choose to VBAC.  (My OB has had a VBAC go very wrong, and I know she carries that pain very deep in her heart.  It was obvious when she told me about it.)  But how had I been so oblivious to the serious risks that were presented by the medical community about VBACs?

So, here I have the VBAC/HBAC supporters saying one thing and interpreting data one way . . . and the medical community saying something very different and using the data in a very different way.  Gawd I hate that.  Can’t a fact be a fact be a fact . . . basta!  Genug!!!

But I digress . . . this purpose of this post is to inform you of the “helpful” things people say to those of us who endure (notice present tense) cesarean section:

  • At least you have a healthy baby (yes, true)
  • At least the c-section was an option for you (yes, true again, I suppose)
  • Maybe you’re just not built for natural childbirth (bullsh*t!)
  • Well at least you won’t have incontinence issues (not always true; true for me)
  • Well at least you didn’t have your vagina ripped open wide; gee vaginal birth really hurts (you’re kidding, right?)
  • Huh, so and so had a section and was really pleased (well good for her; notice, I’m not her?)
  • So are you gonna get a tummy tuck with your next one? (are you insane?!!!)
  • Huh, c-sections are quite common these days (?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!!!^*&#@*!)

Here are a couple of tasty ones that an OB tried on me:

  • I don’t know why you wouldn’t just do a repeat.  I mean you won’t even have to go into labor.  (are you as dumb as you look?)
  • Well, ya know, we could tie your tubes while we’re in there.  They’ll just be flopping around down there anyway.  (ok, I only said I “think” I want 2 kids)

Please feel free to comment below and add your “favorites”.


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