On Tuesday I found out for sure that I am pregnant. I had been testing for a few days and had a very very super faint positive on Monday, but on Tuesday, there was no denying it. This is welcome yet . . . I don’t really have a word for it – scary, tentative aren’t good words . . . news for me and my husband. I myself am amazed that through a UTI and subsequent horrific yeast infection that I even became pregnant. The rub for me is STAYING pregnant. I miscarried our previous child on August 1. Click here and here to read a couple of previous posts regarding my experience with birth loss.
I had a visit with a CNM already set up as a follow-up to irregular mid-cycle bleeding and the out of control yeast. The bleeding turned out to be ovulation bleeding. The yeast got smart and died. We had a good visit. I felt free to cry a bit. She’s very *neutral* which I’m not entirely sure is a good thing. There I am trying to decide whether I should have a hcg test or schedule an early ultrasound, and really she didn’t weigh in. Not that I interpret that as ambivalent, I just wish she could counsel me on how much information really can be gained from these tests. She called me a little while ago to tell me that my quantitative hcg number – 292 – was good. Ok, so good. So now I should repeat the test in two days, but oops, I’ll be out of town. Dag! What to do.
I went to Meadowsweet Herbs and threw down a few pretty pennies. In addition to echinacea for a brewing head cold, I bought some aromatherapy items, and a tincture for pregnancy support, pregnancy tea (which doesn’t taste too bad, I must admit), and a neat-looking book entitled Natural Pregnancyby Janet Balaskas. Time to update my reading list.
It’s a big step for me to announce this so loudly in the big world. I AM PREGNANT! I’m REALLY pregnant . . . again . . . so soon after tragedy. Thank God! May this baby gestate in peace knowing how much he or she is wanted and loved.
Current pregnancy symptoms – exhausted, emotional, lower-abdominal “twinges”
Other feelings – scared, hopeful, worried, out of breath, heart racing, vulnerable, joyful, excited
What a blessing. That’s what I’ll call my growing baby – blessing.