My ultrasound this afternoon confirmed what I already knew: that I lost the pregnancy yesterday and that I have a fibroid. The ultrasound technician confirmed what I recently learned – that I was misdiagnosed last week with a blighted ovum. Not only was it too early to diagnose a blighted ovum, but the presence of the yolk sac means that it was NOT a blighted ovum. Likely the large subchorionic hematoma lead to the eventual miscarriage.
It’s been a rollercoaster ride of a week: threatened miscarriage, started a new chapter of ICAN, stayed in bed and hid from the world, put off all responsibilities onto other people’s shoulders, posted, researched, prayed, cried, hope, despair, loneliness, overwhelmed, frustrated, angry, confused, trusting, untrusting, and the list goes on and on.
So what’s next for me? A make-over? I dunno. I’ve consented to having the OB monitor my pregnancy hormone levels down to 0. Then I will have more bloodwork done to see if there’s anything more serious wrong with me. The fetal tissue will be sent for pathology analysis. I’ll keep teaching. I’ll get back to singing. No choices there.
I’m putting a lot of time and energy into ICAN. I feel good about that. I’m in the process of planning a sneak preview of The Business of Being Born. I’ve been getting a lot of great support from ICAN leaders for both the preview and the start of this new chapter. And Barranca Productions put me in touch with a woman here in town who was looking to schedule a screening of The Business of Being Born. Now she’s working with me to help me make it happen. I’m so thankful to have connected with her and can’t wait to meet her!
What else? Well, I have a big Halloween Party to attend next weekend. I may also attend a public discourse conference in Bozeman. This weekend we were invited to a brunch hosted by the President of the University and to the game, but instead I plan to be at the Farmers’ Market promoting ICAN of Greater Missoula and our inaugural event!