I posted the information below elsewhere on the internet in response to a request for advice regarding care protocol for women who experience miscarriage or stillbirth. I am amazed at how upset I got just writing these seven points. Women who miscarry or otherwise lose their babies are treated so strangely. I’ve been reading a terrific book called Motherhood Lost which looks at birth loss from a feminist perspective. It really speaks to me, so click on the link and check it out.
For what it’s worth, here was my personal advice regarding birth loss “care” – something we don’t always experience when we’re being “treated”:
3. Don’t tell a woman (especially when you’re not her provider) that she put the pregnancies too close together and that she pushes herself too much. We already blame ourselves enough.
4. Don’t misread ultrasounds. Misread ultrasound leads to misdiagnosis which further complicates care and treatment. Because of this misdiagnosis, I was treated like a woman who wasn’t miscarrying “correctly” instead of a woman experiencing “threatened miscarriage” due to a subchorionic hematoma. 5w4d may be too early to see a fetal pole, and the presence of a yolk sac implies the existence of a fetal pole. I did NOT have a blighted ovum.
7. Make sure you have RESOURCES to share with your patients/clients in the form of personal support, support groups/networks, reading materials, etc.
Yeah . . . all of this (and more, I’m sure) I experienced with my 10/07 miscarriage. That was my one and only experience with our local hospital. I won’t be going back there unless I’m seriously dying.