Loss Never Ending

I can’t hardly breathe tonight.

My phone rang today.  Our good friends are in need.  She’s about to have their third baby, and since baby Y-H is about a week early, my friends parents haven’t arrived yet.  Other good friends are out of town, and I feel honored that they turn to us for support during this most important time.

But now as I clean up around the house . . . and am faced with new baby coupons and childbirth books and gmail friends’ status messages updating us on pregnancies and new babies . . . I am overwhelmed by my losses.

June 4 was a lifetime ago.  Geez, no, early April, my first loss due date was a lifetime ago.  That’s right, my June baby was my “perfect timing baby.”  And the unimagineable still happened.  I lost another baby.  My baby was due around September 15.  I (should) have a 4-week-old baby, and my best friend is about to have her baby.  She found out about her baby a few days before I lost mine.  No wonder she was such a wreck when she first saw me after my loss.  She was pregnant and pukey and in agony since her dream was coming true and my dream was dashed yet again.

She’s about to have her baby.  Her third baby.  I have coupons.


6 thoughts on “Loss Never Ending

  1. I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to try to feel happy for others while still feeling sad for yourself. It’s wonderful of you to help and speaks volumes that they called you, knowing your story (up to now) but knowing they could still call.
    Peace to you tonight.

  2. Saying I am sorry for your loss sounds so canned. I just want to send you comfort. Since I can’t send comfort through the blog, I will just let you know I am thinking of you. You are not alone. Know that your blogger friends are giving you our thoughts and prayers and wish nothing but comfort and softness for your pain.

  3. You are really a true friend. I know that it was very hard for you to manage all the things. You were sad at that time but still you help your friend. I know that how difficult for you to saw an infant in your friend’s lap.

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