I can’t hardly breathe tonight.
My phone rang today. Our good friends are in need. She’s about to have their third baby, and since baby Y-H is about a week early, my friends parents haven’t arrived yet. Other good friends are out of town, and I feel honored that they turn to us for support during this most important time.
But now as I clean up around the house . . . and am faced with new baby coupons and childbirth books and gmail friends’ status messages updating us on pregnancies and new babies . . . I am overwhelmed by my losses.
June 4 was a lifetime ago. Geez, no, early April, my first loss due date was a lifetime ago. That’s right, my June baby was my “perfect timing baby.” And the unimagineable still happened. I lost another baby. My baby was due around September 15. I (should) have a 4-week-old baby, and my best friend is about to have her baby. She found out about her baby a few days before I lost mine. No wonder she was such a wreck when she first saw me after my loss. She was pregnant and pukey and in agony since her dream was coming true and my dream was dashed yet again.
She’s about to have her baby. Her third baby. I have coupons.