A Hole in My Venus

I’ve been looking through stock and Creative Commons Licensed photos tonight that deal with pregnancy.  I figured that while I’m in the mood I’d look for some photos that we could possibly use for the upcoming ICAN Conference in April in Atlanta.

I find this a particularly interesting portrayal of Venus, the goddess of fertility among others.  Notice that in this piece of artwork, she is missing her lower abdomen.  There is a hole there.  This is how I feel – like a goddess (albeit worldly, a woman who is quite fertile) whose corrupted uterus has been excised from her body.  It is so hard not to point at the cesarean as the root of my current woes.

I am so sorry that so many of you know how I feel.  No one deserves it.

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2 thoughts on “A Hole in My Venus

  1. It is so hard to not become bitter, to not look at all the people in the world that have children as the enemy. It is also hard to not see my doctor as the enemy. I too have a progesterone deficiency and because of that, I have had four miscarriages. I understand your felling about your doctor not checking your levels. Some doctors will do everything under the sun to save a pregnancy and some still hold on to the belief that “if it’s going to happen it will and if not then it will not.” I am twenty six years old, a middle school math teacher, and married to wonderful man ,for the past 7 years, and it is so hard to understand how one of my twelve year old students can have a successful pregnancy and I can not manage to stay pregnant for more then 10 weeks. I completely relate to the pic that you posted, it astounded me when I saw it. This is the first time that I have posted a comment. Normally I simply read the comments and cry or find comfort in the fact that no matter how alone I feel there are other women that know the pain and loss and the strength that it takes to get up everyday and go out into this world that is filled people that do not understand. Your thoughts have touched my heart and I thank you for that and I wish you the best.

  2. Melissa,
    My heart goes out to you, sister. These situations – children having babies, women throwing away babies in dumpsters, child abuse, child murder – when I think about it, it takes me to a very dark place. It’s just not fair.

    Have you been treated for the progesterone deficiency, and if so, how? I’m terrified that I’ll continue to lose babies even though I know what is wrong and have a plan to “deal” with it . . .

    Thank you for leaving a comment. I appreciate your support and am glad that I have been able to bring you an ounce of comfort. Wish I could do more…

    ~ Kimberly

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