Nearly a Year Ago

My babies will be ONE tomorrow.  I can’t hardly believe it.  I never thought I’d be the type of woman who would say that the year just flew by or grieve the passing of such a special year, but I guess I am.  I take my babies for granted every day . . . and yet, every day they are a miracle to me.  I can hardly believe that after several years of heartache and pain, that I have two one year old girls and one five year old daughter.  I am blessed.

So why do I feel so crappy?  My mother in law is worried because I look pregnant.  No, I don’t think she’s rude for saying that . . . she said what I had been thinking, so I have to take it that much more seriously.  Why does my lower abdomen still hurt to be touched?  Why do I not EVER want to have sex?  And the constant spotting and cramping – I’m so tired of it.

Tonight I began researching the side effects of the Mirena IUD.  I tried to schedule an appointment with my OB/GYN, but he referred me to a GI person.  I’m going to cancel that appointment.  Perhaps I’m having GI trouble, but I really think it has something to do with the way Baby E was positioned, or the fact that my bladder was nicked during the cesarean, or a fibroid, or the reappearance of adenomyosis, or something.  I also suspect the Mirena.  It seems like there is an adjustment phase, an ok phase, and then a shit phase that continues to worsen.  I’m in the worsening shit phase, I’m sure.  So, I called and scheduled an appointment with my GP.  I’ll have her take it out and hopefully change my depression meds.  If that doesn’t work, Lord help me.

I have so much to be thankful for . . . why am I in so much mental and physical pain?

8 responses to “Nearly a Year Ago

  1. oh hon…what you are thankful for does NOT compete w/ what is painful or troubling for you, believe me!!! I hope you find some answers…I’d suspect that Mirena too, but the other things you mentioned could fit too. {{hugs}}

  2. I’d suspect the Mirena, too. Check out “At Your Cervix” — she got a whole lot of responses on her post about her problems with it. Sounds fairly common. :-(

  3. i’d still suggest a session or two for a constitutional homeopathic remedy. made a huge difference for me and i only had minor issues. yours sound deeper seated, and homeopathy can help with those sorts of problems. heck, my remedy even managed to normalize my cycle length :)

    Happy Birthday to the girls!

    • Thanks, Jen. I think I’d probably have to give up coffee, right (?), for homeopathy to work. I’m thinking about trying maya massage once the hated IUD is removed. An additional resource for anyone reading is Isa Herrera’s book, Ending Female Pain.

  4. It would ultimately depend on the appropriate remedy and whether or not coffee explicitly antidotes it. I’ve been doing a series of remedies over the past few months and only displaced the timing of my coffee when I was actually taking the remedy. That is, I avoided using coffee as my remedy chaser :) One of my remedies claimed to be antidoted by coffee (oops, found out after I took it) but I still had strong effects from the remedy.

    The nice thing with homeopathy is that it complements physical bodywork – massage, acupuncture, classical osteopathy. For that matter, you might try going to a classical/drugless osteopath even before the IUD is removed. If pelvic structure (especially after pregnancy and labor, even a cesarean) is dysfunctional in any way, it can cause a cascade of other troubles that appear to be seemingly unrelated.

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