Avoiding Tomorrow

It’s 11:10pm and I’m still awake.  Ludicrous – I suffered a miscarriage and endured surgery a mere day-and-a-half ago, and I know my body and mind need rest.  After hours of surfing the internet and spending time on fringe subjects, it dawned on me – I’m avoiding tomorrow.

I am avoiding tomorrow because I need to get back to work.  Life needs to go on.  I can’t stay in bed forever.  I can’t continue doping up on hydrocodone, anti-anxiety meds, and wine.  I can’t keep avoiding family responsibilities.  I can’t refuse phone calls forever.  So, I’m still awake spending time on insignificant things (like this post) because as soon as I shut my eyes, I’ll have to face tomorrow.

My “work” today has been interesting.  I watched a Bill Moyer lecture captured on video a few weeks before his death.  I learned about “cultural creatives” and decided that Obama must be one.  (What really helped me put this together was a recent Hillary Clinton rant which I can no longer find but had something to do with his supposed pie-in-the-sky rhetoric.)  I tried – and failed – to find a good diagram of Toffler’s * wave theory to share on an on-line forum and came across a thought-provoking futurist post about something called “future shock.”  I surfed digg.com, compared it to reddit.com, and decided that I prefer digg.  I thought about how I can incorporate social activism discourse into the philosophy of music education course I’ll teach on-line next spring.  I started watching an interview with Naomi Wolf, author of The Beauty Myth (which I haven’t read) and The End of America (which I am now interested in reading).

And now it is 11:40pm and I must face going to sleep.  My DH is still upstairs playing World of Warcraft.  That’s how he escapes the horrid reality of our current situation.  And I go to bed again alone . . .

* Evidently the neutrality of this wikipedia entry is disputed to which I respond, “when is communication ever truly ‘neutral’?”


ICAN of Greater Missoula

It’s official.  There’s no turning back now.  I have succeeded in starting a local chapter of the International Cesarean Awareness Network.  I consider my area to include Missoula Valley, the Bitterroot Valley (at least to Hamilton), down the Hellgate Canyon (like to Clinton), and out to Arlee.  Really anyone who wants to get to a meeting that is in the area is welcome to attend!  We are the first and only chapter in Montana though I know that there are women in Helena and Billings working to start chapters too.

I wrote down a short list of goals the other day:

  1. Help women (and men) in my area know that there are choices to be made with regard to prenatal care and childbirth
  2. Raise awareness – the cesarean rate at Community Hospital is not good – 30+%; according to hospital sources, there were only 16 VBACs performed at Community last year
  3. Encourage pregnant women to seek out independent childbirth education; be a local facilitator for natural childbirth support
  4. Plant seeds at the University – it is never too early to become educated about the childbirth industry

I’ve started a website for ICAN of Greater Missoula.  There’s nothing there yet, but give me a few sleepless nights, and it’ll look great.  I love Terapad!  Anyone who is interested in knowing more about ICAN of Greater Missoula can e-mail ICANofMissoula ([at]) gmail [(dot)] com.

I’m currently planning a screening of The Business of Being Born, a documentary feature film directed by Abby Epstein (Ricki Lake, Executive Producer).  This will be the inaugural event and fundraiser for ICAN of Greater Missoula.  I’m so excited and nervous about all of this!  I still don’t have a date and venue secured (though one is available to me), and this all has to happen within the next 3 weeks or so.  Aaaah!  Eeeek!  But I know it’ll get done, and I’ve already been offered support and assistance.  Thank goodness for angels!

We will hold monthly meetings.  The first couple of meetings (November & December) will be informational and women can share birth stories and ask questions.  Then I will start a series (beginning in January) called Choices in Childbirth and bring in guest speakers from the community.  Topics I think we’ll start with include Prenatal Care, Selecting Care Providers, and Where to Birth.